The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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