Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping

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  (724): Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping http://tfl.nu/9juf
  Replies (5) Good night (824) Bad night (1127)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore

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  (410): I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore http://tfl.nu/l2tw
  Replies (33) Good night (921) Bad night (2321)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.

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  (202): We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible. http://tfl.nu/l361
  Replies (19) Good night (5204) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.

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  (318): Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity. http://tfl.nu/izk8
  Replies (66) Good night (627) Bad night (4765)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....

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  (818): he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was.... http://tfl.nu/srrx
  Replies (31) Good night (4681) Bad night (3090)
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  (925): View more from California

  so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious

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  (925): so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious http://tfl.nu/hqe9
  Replies (16) Good night (4701) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child

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  (330): I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child http://tfl.nu/htew
  Replies (9) Good night (1961) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

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  (267): My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake http://tfl.nu/gq0m
  Replies (13) Good night (3555) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.

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  (515): No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today. http://tfl.nu/dl5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1324) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.

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  (303): Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop. http://tfl.nu/81x3
  Replies (19) Good night (904) Bad night (1804)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong

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  (714): When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong http://tfl.nu/jidy
  Replies (5) Good night (517) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level

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  (603): i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level http://tfl.nu/sciw
  Replies (4) Good night (447) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.

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  (412): Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab. http://tfl.nu/yqci
  Replies (5) Good night (1310) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!

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  (406): We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?! http://tfl.nu/cb95
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.

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  (216): We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret. http://tfl.nu/ko6r
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (319)

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