the new term for farting is butt boxing.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
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Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
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It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad