Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head. (810): I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again. http://tfl.nu/3d2e
  Replies (17) Good night (3026) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  basic color theory

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up (1-502): basic color theory http://tfl.nu/ff46
  Replies (14) Good night (1102) Bad night (3429)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them. http://tfl.nu/o468
  Replies (10) Good night (3748) Bad night (1457)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO. http://tfl.nu/pbw8
  Replies (15) Good night (4099) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter http://tfl.nu/kvk4
  Replies (15) Good night (1034) Bad night (4447)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list? http://tfl.nu/v2ct
  Replies (28) Good night (1139) Bad night (4677)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Why do you apologize after every time we have sex? http://tfl.nu/3g2b
  Replies (27) Good night (703) Bad night (8287)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke http://tfl.nu/8xdu
  Replies (11) Good night (863) Bad night (3970)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing. http://tfl.nu/zu31
  Replies (5) Good night (3915) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower? http://tfl.nu/g495
  Replies (32) Good night (1578) Bad night (5004)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated. http://tfl.nu/ajsd
  Replies (5) Good night (1480) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control. http://tfl.nu/b7dz
  Replies (6) Good night (2167) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too. http://tfl.nu/aq9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1064) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance? http://tfl.nu/xp3g
  Replies (5) Good night (702) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/4cua
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (142)

Randomize