He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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