I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
