well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.