I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize