threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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