are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize