He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too