Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"

  (785): View more from Kansas

  you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!" (785): you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me? http://tfl.nu/e8og
  Replies (37) Good night (903) Bad night (3698)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today? http://tfl.nu/xk43
  Replies (54) Good night (992) Bad night (4557)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot http://tfl.nu/eus9
  Replies (14) Good night (4542) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun http://tfl.nu/jcw4
  Replies (16) Good night (4145) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far" http://tfl.nu/dqcq
  Replies (14) Good night (2402) Bad night (1357)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship http://tfl.nu/9ygn
  Replies (5) Good night (2341) Bad night (1896)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour.... http://tfl.nu/achx
  Replies (6) Good night (3886) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass http://tfl.nu/s4so
  Replies (11) Good night (1801) Bad night (5151)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains. http://tfl.nu/eu34
  Replies (5) Good night (1752) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (2862) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story. http://tfl.nu/g1cp
  Replies (6) Good night (1055) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van. http://tfl.nu/upqb
  Replies (3) Good night (709) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie. http://tfl.nu/3kb9
  Replies (16) Good night (1273) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood. http://tfl.nu/d01c
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry. http://tfl.nu/g914
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (196)

Randomize