Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015