Texts From Last Night

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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..

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  (307): I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie.. http://tfl.nu/boas
  Replies (15) Good night (5222) Bad night (647)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck

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  (503): The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/nvzw
  Replies (20) Good night (6478) Bad night (1602)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock

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  (518): i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock http://tfl.nu/9mlf
  Replies (9) Good night (6650) Bad night (1121)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.

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  (713): I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups. http://tfl.nu/3y6t
  Replies (16) Good night (3934) Bad night (1224)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?

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  (801): Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman? http://tfl.nu/4t4b
  Replies (9) Good night (3796) Bad night (1217)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!

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  (217): He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP! http://tfl.nu/1t3i
  Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (3878)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.

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  (336): I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years. http://tfl.nu/1nws
  Replies (18) Good night (1483) Bad night (968)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.

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  (480): It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood. http://tfl.nu/ktz5
  Replies (4) Good night (2042) Bad night (667)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.

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  (505): We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it. http://tfl.nu/o399
  Replies (4) Good night (1148) Bad night (424)
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  (831): View more from California

  Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur

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  (831): Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur http://tfl.nu/smm5
  Replies (2) Good night (1015) Bad night (633)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.

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  (989): I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story. http://tfl.nu/i8j1
  Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (548)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you

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  (931): He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you http://tfl.nu/kuvj
  Replies (6) Good night (2021) Bad night (542)
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  (315): View more from New York

  On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.

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  (315): On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties. http://tfl.nu/tf8z
  Replies (1) Good night (723) Bad night (384)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.

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  (734): You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them. http://tfl.nu/p5zk
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (686)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.

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  (810): I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style. http://tfl.nu/iivw
  Replies (6) Good night (857) Bad night (523)

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