She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
