it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
