Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
