idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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