Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
