Its about making memories worth repressing
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
