i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My bed smells like the plague
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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