I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
