the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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