My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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