my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...