Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.