Sponge bath it is.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Randomize
