it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize