I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
