My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
