ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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