Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Found the puke drawer
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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