??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Randomize
