I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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