Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Princesses don't give blow jobs
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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