hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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