I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
