I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
