she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
