operation have a gay friend backfired
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
