grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
