Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
