i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
