You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
