let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
