Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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