i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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