Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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