Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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