I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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