I accidentally had phone sex last night
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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