It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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