My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
