I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
