maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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