There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
