ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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