It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
