she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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