i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
