I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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