He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my shit smells like andre
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
