Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
