dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
