you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have fence marks all over my body
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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