I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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