the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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