I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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