Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
