There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
