It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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